It’s not about purity, virginity, or any other social or physical standards but it’s a kind of Connection. A connection that held you and holds you. You bring changes in your life by your very own decisions and desires and with no compulsion. those monotonous breaks and chit chats become most valuable memories, Slowly and gradually one person that once meant nothing to you is now the person you think you can rely on, and no matter what situation arises you will never ever give up on him/her regardless of whatever consequences are followed by your actions just to keep that one person in your life happy. It’s a state of mind when that person is above every desire and things you ever wished for. The world matters nothing to you and he/she comprises your world.

Love is something she doesn’t know much about. she even doesn’t know if she has ever been in love but yes she had a connection that meant a lot and she regrets when she had time she didn’t write a better ending to it neither did she try to look over it on a long term basis as she was doing no trade. At that moment it was all perfect it was everything she ever wanted and later with time the illusion broke, but not the connection, it still holds strong deep down the heart in a dark chamber with no locks and guards as there is nothing left to look-after. It’s all buried deep within the darkness of soul and in spite of her tireless efforts, she tried to keep up to cope with it. She realized at the end there is no turning back to this. She is a whole new person with the same identity and that what makes it tough to survive, her pattern of thinking and how her mind works has changed to an extent that she surprises herself quite a few times. She learned from the pain the riddle of life that sounds little insane. She portrays the life and what life does to you in a poem this way:

In the volcanoes of my heart, lies an ice-land,

With time it contracts and expands.

I try most of the time it is in a neutral state,

But sometimes I just can’t maintain it.

Like seasons on earth,

Lies emotion in my heart.

People come and go,

They value you little or no.

Regardless of what they pretend,

They will ill-treat, cheat, and offend.

Don’t live with this fear,

Every soul ultimately gets tore.

You are no special to god,

He has not made you odd.

Feel the water, feel the earth, Feel the fire, and feel the pain,

Just never feel it’s all in the vain.